Anxiety is real

ADHD is real

God is real

This morning I went onto a rant in my Sunday school class amongst those I trust closely with my truths. Those who know my love of Jesus and have seen me go through the pits of a valley and come to the other side of the mountain.

After Covid came and confused us all about the importance of being in a church on site versus watching online, its been easier for this girl who would never miss a Sunday in church from the time I was a baby, to say I’m gonna stay home and rest or do something else. now that wasn’t every Sunday but I stopped feeling guilty about missing a Sunday a month or so… whereas before I would have not missed a Sunday unless I was on vacation. My sister asked me yesterday if i wanted to go to Dollywood… but after thinking about it, I told myself after missing last Sunday I needed to be there and be there with my kids. I have such good kids. They’d go without me in a heartbeat. What blessings.

The pastor talked this morning in Colossians. We’ll he’s been talking for 10 weeks in Colossians. This is written in my notes. God instructed me at the start of this set of lessons to start documenting and note taking. this coincided with the start of marathon training. I felt the need to drag God on my journey…lol as he led me through it. I guess i was hoping for the Footprints in the Sand poem coming to life as I think in hindsight…

Colossians. We’ll, I didn’t realize how awesome a book it would be and this morning it was in chapter 3: 18-4:1. Pastor Stacey talks in points. And the first was definitely on Husbands and Wives. And in good timing because he just returned from a weekend with many of my peers to make a podcast with married couples. This is something we had been invited to do but Conrad and I’s work schedule won’t allow.
So next he talks on kids and parents.

But the 3rd point was the one I had looked ahead and as he pointed out was about the workplace. The wording in the Bible says slaves or bondServants, however he was quick to state that this at no way means in this day and age this refers to those- it more refers around work. This is the part I looked forward to the most.

I’m on the year anniversary of the start of anxiety that started due to work. It also assisted I believe in the overwhelming feeling that matches my ADHD that I self-diagnosed in April. these are things I’ve never had issues with. But a series of stories I’ll keep to only my close friends have led me here.

And now we’re a week since Carrie Powell, one of the most loved athletic trainers in the area passed by suicide. My short memoir of her; Carrie, what do I know about her.
Carrie was a few years older than me. Not sure exactly if its 5 or 10 years more… and she an I chatted in the last year and joked and discussed how she was in her 19th year at Swain and I was in my 17th. We were both the old ladies in the career around here. I knew she was well loved by her athletes. Every Spring she posted this huge post on facebook with this massive array of cards and gifts her athletes would give her. She always posted in these big bold letters in how much appreciation she had for all of the love she got every single year. She won a NC Coaches Clinic award in 2022 I believe. I actually have only attended a few NC AT coaches clinics and I felt so lucky to be there to watch her get this award. There are rumors and suggestions as to why she passed. Was it the lack of appreciation the new administration at this school was showing her? Was it a mental health issue she already had? Was it the new change in employment? Was there something else? What I do know is that she loved Jesus and was not afraid to tell you. She was a great athletic trainer. They say she was the healthcare of Swain county. I also knew she poured her heart into that job and loved taking care of others.

It’s easy to forget that those of us who spend all our time caring for others won’t ask for help, but will subtly. And don’t appreciate being taken advantage of. I know personally I will go to the ends of the earth for someone who just shows me respect and treats me like I deserve. But athletic trainers all around (I talk to them often) are often treated like doormats that should just show up at their work and take whatever they show up to for the day.

Back to Colossians. Colossians 3:22-25.
Slaves, obey your earthy masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and curry their favor, it with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism.

My notes from this wrapped around my anxiety with work. It reminded me that I do my job for God’s glory, and not for any acceptance or respect from coworkers. I love to care for patients/athletes.
Pastor talked about how its so important for Christians to allow their lights to shine bright at work and to be hard workers. And to always be respectful of those who have higher ranks in work than us.

Now, yes, I have co-workers in the clinic and my physician I work with that I have an amazing relationship with. When we work in the clinic, we spread our wings together and love on every patient with God’s love and provide true care for our patients as a whole. It’s what makes my work so wonderful there.

As a whole this lesson meant so much today leaving me glad I didn’t skip this day at church. It’s easy to watch my friend Carrie and wrap my brain around her work and compare it to me and my experience and wonder how one gets to this point. I can’t help but see it and understand with how my last 12 months have been if hers were anywhere similar to mine.

Remember to pray for all. Be respectful of all. Make a friend. Talk to someone that you don’t understand. You can’t look at the outside of someone and know how they are truly feeling inside.

Find your outlet. Running helps me so much. Talking to my closest of friends helps me so much. My Sunday School group reaching out and praying for me was so peace-filled.

Why do I write – its an outlet. It also may reach someone else who feels the same. Or remind someone that someone they didn’t realize felt this way may. The more I’ve talked to others and delved into what I know about Carrie, I don’t think others probably knew this was coming.

Outside my room I’ve now posted

It Only Takes 1
But everyone should Try

Be the 1